By. Wael Ibrahim – 17.3.2022
“Sir, to be honest, I’d rather experience sexual pleasure with a toy or during pornographic scenes than with a real person.” This is something a 16-year-old boy once told me during a counselling session.
Another young man once told me, “I used to be very thankful for these pornographic websites. It made me fantasize about having actual sexual encounters with the most beautiful girls ever created. But now I’m disgusted and hurt because I look at every girl and any girl with an animal look of sexual desires, whether I’m attracted to them or not.“
This is the reality in which we are living in. Young generations are becoming ‘sex zombies,’ attempting to live the pornographic life in their everyday lives. As a result, romance and connection were lost, and sexual taste was contaminated by the bitterness of porn consumption.
There have been no generations that have witnessed the revolution of sexual degradation in history as the young generation of this era.
“Is there any hope for me to live a life free of porn?” – Yet another young man begged me. “Will I ever feel truly loved by a girl? What’s more, will I be able to tell the difference between love and lust?“
It’s fascinating to see young individuals recognise the difference between true love and pure lust to fulfil their desires without regard for commitment, even when they are enjoying the temporary pleasure provided by porn.
Sexual aggression against women, as depicted in pornographic films, is often conflated with the craving for love and connection. Many young people are unable to tell the difference and assume that this is the only way to be sexually acceptable, loved and appreciated by their partners.
The reality is that, while pornography has contributed significantly to what young men and women know about sex today, it is not adequately educating this generation for true life-long intimacy. Why? Because the brain has programmed this generation to demand and seek sexual satisfaction only through screens.
That is why many young people nowadays are complaining that pornography for them was mainly used to enhance their sexual ability with real life partners. But in reality, Pornography makes it more difficult for them to have authentic sex encounters.
Many men have noticed that they could easily maintain an erection when watching porn but could not do so while participating in sexual activities with their partners. It’s unsurprising that young men and women nowadays would prefer a lone sexual experience while watching pornography over having a real-life partner because their brains have been conditioned to porn.
For example, a client recently divorced from his wife due of his addiction to pornography told me that the majority of the sites he visited were unsatisfying and at times downright disgusting. In the rare event that he discovers a sexually intriguing website, he will spend hours or even days browsing, revisiting, and masturbating to it. When he tried to have sex with his wife after seeing what he saw, he was shocked to find that he was cold and unresponsive sexually. As a result, pornography became his sole source of sexual pleasure, rather than his wife. And so, he drowned for years in this world of self-gratification, unsure of how to get back on track and live the life he genuinely desired. The more he watched, the more he wanted to watch more. When he became dissatisfied with one site, he spent more hours and days searching for another that may captivate him. And so the cycle continues until he divorces his wife.
Many individuals may view this man as irresponsible, perverted, or immature. But indeed, he was sincerely in love with his wife and family, and as his close friends and family members have characterised him as genuinely thoughtful, kind, and friendly. His main issue, just like many others is that he is unable to leave his screens once he has been exposed to pornography till reality sets in. i.e. masturbation. Why? Because they are frightened, worried, and terrified to engage in sexual activities with their wives for fear of losing their erection.
“Help me, Sheikh,” cried a sister over the phone. “During intimacy, my husband is calling me dirty names that he previously considered abusive and sinful. But now, he’s been urging me to exchange these vile names with him! Is this permissible in Islam?” inquired the poor lady.
It is becoming increasingly common for those who are consumed by pornography to behave with their spouses in a similar manner to that which they’ve been watching on porn, regardless of whether their partners enjoy the experiences or not. This is what pornography teaches our youth, and this is how their future with their spouses will look.
As parents, educators, coaches, counsellors, and community leaders, we all have a critical responsibility to play in the lives of our children. It is critical for us to recognize the risk that pornography poses to our children and t, but it is equally critical for us to take proactive steps to raise awareness of this danger.
