It’s just about time to sit with your kids, take a deep breath, and deliver that BIG TALK.
Don’t repeat the same history of not being able to talk about sex with your parents. If you have children, NOW is the time to address these issues for their safety. I grew up in a culture that does not allow speaking about issues related to sex, pornography-related issues, or even love. All these subjects were considered shameful and taboo. We could not even ask or discuss changes that our bodies experience, and as a result, we end up asking the main educator on sex in the world today. i.e. Pornography.
So don’t let history repeat itself. TALK to them, EDUCATE them, because if you did, you’ll be putting them on the road towards resilience, confidence, safety, and protection.
So what is that you need to know as parents?
Be the primary source of education.
When you admit your children to schools, don’t think that teachers are babysitters, they can do an excellent job, but with your involvement in the life of your children, no matter what effort is being provided by schools, you should be in charge of your children’s wellbeing, safety, and protection. You should be the primary source of education, including SEX and other sensitive subjects. At first, the conversation might appear awkward, however, your job is to normalize these conversations so that your children feel safe to reach out to YOU and ASK about anything that society considers taboo.
You can talk to ANY of your children. No age is excluded.
If children at the age of 7,8 and 10 can access pornography at will and become addicted to it, then it’s very essential for us to educate them at a very young age before the porn culture ruin their lives. Of course with every age group, you’ll need to use suitable language to deliver your message, but you shouldn’t exclude or prevent any of your children from getting the right education about sex and the harms that pornography could lead to.
Beware of explicit details.
Do not worry, talking to your children about these topics won’t turn them into perverts or open their eyes to topics they didn’t know before. They are curious, if you don’t let them have that space, they will find it elsewhere, sooner than you think. So allow questions related to their body parts, relationships, safe and unsafe touch, and so on. Provide them with ENOUGH information and according to their questions, but don’t delve into explicit details that maybe they cannot process at that stage.
Don’t fear backlashes.
You’ll be discouraged by family members, friends and co-workers etc. They will attack your approach and disagree as if they are the experts on sexuality and parenthood. Welcome the backlashes, and keep the conversations going with your children. Make them regular and make them NORMAL. Your children should not about menstruation before it happene. They should understand what’s wet dreams are before they are shocked by its visitation. Initiate these conversations by educating yourself, then your kids. At the same time, welcome the backlashes, and ignore them if they are not constructive.
Remember, we are not angels. We do our best to practice what works well for us individually. If these tips would create a great environment where kids will feel safe and understand how to protect themselves, etc, then keep them in place. If something needs modification, that’s also fine. What’s essential and can never be compromised is EDUCATION around this space or else they will go astray.
