Aslamu Alayakum my name is Malamin and I have been struggling with this addiction for a very long time, since like my early teens and I’m 28 now. This feels like the biggest monkey on my back and a great weight on my shoulders. I’m tired of fighting with myself and the thought that always says you will never get over this you will always come back. I fear that I am doomed and am throwing away this world as well as the hereafter and I’m trying my best not to lose hope.